Wednesday, May 28, 2008
My Scarlet A
When I first put the Scarlet A on my blog, I didn't realize how accurate it was to the truth of my experience as an atheist. Being newly "out" I never felt alot of persecution...Of course I never VOICED my feelings on the subject of religion. I had friends of many faiths. I pride myself on the fact that I can tolerate people whether I agree with their personal faith or not. I just Didn't Talk about religion with them. However, when I come to a person, who says they can handle what I like to call "My personal truths versus their own" for a more politically correct phrasing, I don't hold back. I speak honestly when I choose to speak. Sometimes people cannot handle it...Even when sometimes they say they can. This blog Is my private place for my thoughts. Granted I share them with the world, it is not nor WILL it ever be censored. Here I can stop and take the time to gather my thoughts and tongue, And I can say how I feel with out being interrupted and distracted. I don't always have the time, or verbal ability to put out what I want to say. I am A writer, I gather my words like wool, And I knit them into a coherent fabric on paper, or as the case may be in text. Sometimes my grammar is sub par, But if one can get past that they will see the greater picture I am trying to show. My voice has been stifled so many years, my opinions never counting, why should I be silenced any more? Now that I am un ashamed of my thoughts and feelings I see that in some circumstances they are only tolerated when they aren't shown/voiced. Tolerance is a two way street, I listen though I may not agree, and unless it is in the context of acknowledged debate I do not get offended, nor interrupt. I expect the same in turn. Sometimes, that is not reciprocated. And thus my scarlet A, being shunned because others cannot handle MY word As I kindly handle theirs. Even when I want to scream, Even those I love like family. Now I see, only in the company of like minded people can I be my true self. I will never shut up and sit down. I will never be silenced, not by and man or woman ever again. The things I have to say may not always be happy sunshiney knit and cat stuff. Sometimes it may challenge the beliefs of those I hold dear. That is me, who I am, that is LIFE. Filled with pain, growth, and movement, life is a challenge. I proudly wear my Scarlet A, And I hope to one day find others like me, who I can sit with in real life.. not just online. I'm only 22 years old, there's plenty of time yet. Until then my friends, Good night.