Friday, May 23, 2008

Ah , missouri

Only in missouri would you get a $250.00 gift card to a gun shop with you vehicle purchase. one dealer is actually giving the option of gas cards or guns with purchase.really see I lived there for about two years outside of springfield. I was about 12 I think. we used to ride our bikes in the storm drains to cross free ways and those things were HUGE. All the homeless folks would set up communities in there, old beds, dressers, one guy had a mini fridge in there. For what use I have no Idea, it's not like there were outlets( though I wouldn't have been surprised). the main reason why we rode around in them and disturbed the homeless people was because If you did actually get brave( or stupid) enough to ride on the side of the road/sidewalk or bike paths the endearing motorists would TRY and swerve to hit you. No shit, I knew people who would be riding along to thier granny's house and get smacked in the back of the head with a phone book, slushie, or the token stick. the added bonus was the coolness of having a mini mart next door, we'd go there and buy a bunch of V8 bottles and see who could drink one down the fastest. This was of course before the tasty new "berry blends" and strawberry banana ones. Nope we had those nasty veg only ones that tasted like tomatoes, carrots and feet. I reemeber one day our bike posse rode up and the police(locally known as "the po-po")were there. Turns out some kid had wondered around the store poking packages of meats up his shirt. The lady din't want to get him in trouble as was going to let him have some of the meats , because I mean If you're stealing meats thre's generally a HUNGER issue. she asked him to pull out said product...kid had like 200 bucks worth of meat in his the early 90's in rural missouri, that's a shitton of meat! We didn't know the poor kid unfortunatly. If we had known him we would have totally hooked him up with foodage. One of the guys' gran lived about a block down from us. I swear She was the inspiration for Cartmans mom. "Hi kids, you want some cookies? I got roast in the oven you go eat those cookies and come back in 10 minutes It'll be ready" she had 10 kids at any given time at her house. She would call in poeple off the street "yall want some snap peas and sausage?" "I got some sun tea a'brewin" I loved gran. and most of my friends' families were the same way, my house was the icecream/popsicle house, because my mom cooked like a prison chef.
when my dad went completly nutters and held my brother hostage in the house and the swat team cometh, my posse were all there. They hid us out at their house while the boys tried to talk Rick into leting Bub out. There may be some crazy, gun toting, bible belt types up there, but there's also alot of butt kickin', stranger feeding, wonderful ones too. P.S. guns are very usefull, I am totally NOT anti gun. 'specially since SAlly's squirrels have come to my house. I have a 22 cal....I wonder if the rabbit ears would be over kill? probably.

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