My Scarlet A

When I first put the Scarlet A on my blog, I didn't realize how accurate it was to the truth of my experience as an atheist. Being newly "out" I never felt alot of persecution...Of course I never VOICED my feelings on the subject of religion. I had friends of many faiths. I pride myself on the fact that I can tolerate people whether I agree with their personal faith or not. I just Didn't Talk about religion with them. However, when I come to a person, who says they can handle what I like to call "My personal truths versus their own" for a more politically correct phrasing, I don't hold back. I speak honestly when I choose to speak. Sometimes people cannot handle it...Even when sometimes they say they can. This blog Is my private place for my thoughts. Granted I share them with the world, it is not nor WILL it ever be censored. Here I can stop and take the time to gather my thoughts and tongue, And I can say how I feel with out being interrupted and distracted. I don't always have the time, or verbal ability to put out what I want to say. I am A writer, I gather my words like wool, And I knit them into a coherent fabric on paper, or as the case may be in text. Sometimes my grammar is sub par, But if one can get past that they will see the greater picture I am trying to show. My voice has been stifled so many years, my opinions never counting, why should I be silenced any more? Now that I am un ashamed of my thoughts and feelings I see that in some circumstances they are only tolerated when they aren't shown/voiced. Tolerance is a two way street, I listen though I may not agree, and unless it is in the context of acknowledged debate I do not get offended, nor interrupt. I expect the same in turn. Sometimes, that is not reciprocated. And thus my scarlet A, being shunned because others cannot handle MY word As I kindly handle theirs. Even when I want to scream, Even those I love like family. Now I see, only in the company of like minded people can I be my true self. I will never shut up and sit down. I will never be silenced, not by and man or woman ever again. The things I have to say may not always be happy sunshiney knit and cat stuff. Sometimes it may challenge the beliefs of those I hold dear. That is me, who I am, that is LIFE. Filled with pain, growth, and movement, life is a challenge. I proudly wear my Scarlet A, And I hope to one day find others like me, who I can sit with in real life.. not just online. I'm only 22 years old, there's plenty of time yet. Until then my friends, Good night.

Not hate, just Indifference

NOTE: "IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR MY RELIGIOUS VIEWS PLEASE COME BACK AT A LATER TIME, IF YOU HAVE NO QUALMS FEEL FREE TO READ ON":

The one main question or statement(as it comes in many formats) I get after telling people I'm an atheist is" why are you angry with god/ why do you hate God, or the much more common:"I feel you're angry with god". I am so totally NOT angry with god. And while I'm on it, if I were which one would I choose? Or maybe I could be angry with them all, but really that's a lot of fairy dust to be pointlessly angry with. No not angry, just indifferent. You see most people commonly misplace the opposite of Love with anger, when in fact anger assumes belief in said god. I however do not. So you see :indifference. Do not love, nor hate because I am confident there is nothing to feel emotion towards. The religious talks I end up eventually having with people have become like a recording to me. Same arguments, different formats.
Their personal God is not vengeful, doesn't smite the wicked,helps and heals, and is a jovial grandpa kinda guy. Yet they all read from the same book as the next person which states all about how thy should kill those (women) who sleep around, eat shellfish, or don't believe the same religious jargon as them. Also if you can say: "oh well this passage can't apply now, that was just the TIMES then." I'm sorry, throw the whole thing in the trash, because the same goes for the rest of it. I can not believe in something in a book that has been ripped apart and put back together half way and slipshod like some tinker toy from their hell more than a dozen times in the past century alone. and isn't really even written by said deity, I mean jeez dude omnipresent, get off your duff and write it yourself. It's not like you're actually doing something. These days if God tells you to write a book on how to kill people you don't like and rape their women, And condones sacrificing your children you go to either the funny farm or prison. Who knows that these boneheads hundreds of yrs ago didn't belong in the same place? Some where I read once the only difference between Christianity and the scientologists of today is about 2000 years. I concur. Back then you cold spout enough BS and get enough people to follow you and poof you're a religion. Sometimes all it takes is a good con and a charismatic personality, hey look at all these get rich quick schemes thousands get into every day. Same concept, you work your tail off give them your money/faith, con others into it and you get a fancy car/eternal life/ one million dollars, only to be miserable and irritating and come up with less than you started with. The old "there's a coin in your ear" trick didn't work on me as a kid, it still doesn't now, sorry.( not really)
Another argument is the old: well what kind of morals can you teach your kids without god, all the ones you say are made by us. Like there's some bloody patent on not running stark naked through the streets stabbing people. Common decency is not a religious value. Most definitely not, otherwise you would see a lot less hate mongering towards gays, non religious, and people who don't like (insert your religious holiday here) My morals are as follows:
(1) don't do things that could potentially harm yourself, others, or make ME want to kick your butt.
(2) learn all you can, and do your best so you will be wise enough to make the world a better place.
(3) help people when you can if you can,
(4) wipe front to back
(5) chew with your mouth closed
You see even less than the 10 commandments. Pretty simple stuff really, doesn't even need to come with an omnipresent figurehead.

Ribbed with Snark...for No Ones Pleasure

I am generally a Quiet atheist, content to mind my own path, and shake my head at the rest. Generally. Then someone comes along, and ruins my day And I must object. My only wish was that it were ANY other day than today when I am fighting squeaky can't breathe voice. But NOOOO, I let Girly be in the school play, KNOWING I disagreed with a line in the song she would be singing. ONE LINE. I let it pass, I discussed it in private with her, and let ..it...pass. I go to the play today and the WHOLE bloddy thing was laced with snark, and religious attacks. freaking FIVE YEAR OLD BABIES!?! Here's a quote from the mouth of a babe" This country was founded on one nation UNDER GOD(emphasised in the speech) and THAT"S (also emphasised)the way it should be. This was not said just once, but MANY TIMES over and OVER in the 30 minute play. So I voiced my displaesure to the principal( who was incidentally behind me the INTIRE time I squeaked and clenched through out the play)who redirected to the music teacher, who I also voiced my displeasure though I also complemented the adorable kids because heck they were absolutely ADORABLE), who THEN in turn redirected me to the teacher. All In all I had to tell 3 different people the level of snark in the play, and the undergod and THAT'S how it is, and a few other quotes, was frankly just rude, and also undermining my efforts as an Atheist parent. The response?" They're little, most of it was just*woosh * over their heads.so..." and " it was a pre-written play we bought"
SO freaking buttons. I don't CARE if it was over their heads, I did not send my child to a PRIVATE CHRISTIAN academy, I sent her to A PUBLIC school. There is SO much more to this country than religious rhetoric. Freedom, wisdom, diversity,triumph against oppression, open a history book! I expressed my hope that in the future the other plays would not be as religious minded, and exclusive, and left before the hands took on a mind of their own and smacked someone for their casual dismissal. I do not begrudge anyone their faith, but when It comes to the schooling of my child, or anyone Else's, they should be more damn considerate of ALL views and think , "well hey there might be Muslims, or Buddhist's or (yes even us) atheists in the crowd of parents and children, let's think about how there are MANY peoples in this country" And not marginalize and take away from the many truly great things the peoples did to make this country great by saying things like"with out miracles, and the bible, this country would never be here" BULL freaking Shiat. Men and Women,soldiers and sons, daughters and wives, People fought, worked, bleed and died, for this country to get where it is today, and are STILL dying. Go tell a soldier who came home with lost limbs, or a veteran who can't sleep at night for his nightmares, than their contribution doesn't matter, that it was all god, and THAT's why they aren't dead, go tell a mother who has lost her only son in war, than his life was God's will, and that not but her son nor the thousands like him, but BY GOD we're still safe in our beds at night. They were all but forgotten in the school today until it came time for them to come and retrieve the flags from their stands. As I saw those three men marching forward I almost cried, to think all they have done, and battled, just THOSE THREE men, and a government school gives discount to that, for to a God that one or even all of them may not believe in. It really breaks my heart.